(Another one-liner.) What if the subway was like an airline, with stewardi (sp?) pushing drink carts down the aisle?
The idea was inspired by the sometimes pilot-like announcements of train conductors: "We are approaching Times Square Station on schedule. It is a beautiful day outside -- we hope you enjoy it. From everyone here at NYC Transit, thank you for riding the subway!"
Bad-taste comment from my saved description: Sections: first class, coach, homeless.