Gold-Plated Car Alarm

I've been oversensitive to (other people's) noise for as long as I can remember.  I still feel guilty about asking a girlfriend years ago to stop slurping her tea, even though she was probably quiet as a mouse.  So obviously, I hate things like cell phones and car alarms.

There are few forms of life lower than car alarm and car stereo manufacturers, like Directed Electronics, the company founded by right wing congressman Darrell Issa, who claims to have invented the car alarm.  All the company's products, like the 600+ watt car stereos it sells, reflect his and the GOP's world view: take what you want, no matter what kind of pain it causes or mess it makes, because you'll be rich enough to move up the hill, away from the hell on earth you've created.

I've had several stupid ideas about car alarms and one of them is: Get a car alarm kit with a nice big horn and smother it in gold and jewels.  It would be so valuable that it would be needed to protect itself as it sits in the museum on a white sable pillow inside a block of clear plastic, which almost completely muffles the alarm as it shrieks whenever someone approaches..

But even encrusted in jewels, a car alarm would look pretty boring, so maybe I'd have a mechanic stick it inside a French horn (single, double, triple versions pictured above)..